A reborn of myself

Hi everyone, it's been three years since I ever came back to blog. Time files. How everyone doing? Bluffing myself that anyone will still be here after all. Haix, I'm no longer do negative as in the past, weeyouwee, a good job for me. Life pretty good I should say. My tummy had grow so much, so big till no one can accept for my age. And that's the reason why I'm writing here to express my shitty feeling again. Reading back my old blog, damn I realize I always had BGR problem. No big different from now. As expected, with this, my new problem occurs. I'm currently in love with someone that doesn't love me, or at least she shows that to me. In my life, I'm trying so hard to advance myself to prove I'm someone different and good, but nevertheless, it always bring back one thing, no one treasure me! I only had myself for myself. Am i getting single for my rest of my life? Well let's not talk about this anymore. Currently I'm going for a new IT course. Hopefully this can make me better skills and more money earning. Life is like this, if u stop, u really stop living. Ok, that's all for today. Getting late, going to bed. Good night.

Back from Batam after commissioning on weekend

This is so so so stupid, simply wasting time... Go there like doing nothing. Wasted my beloved weekend. Oh well, i came back on sat noon, first thing i did was, calling my gf who is currently accompany her friends and will only find me at night. Sigh~ how i wish i can say no to her telling her to come to me instantly. Maybe you might think i am selfish not to let her have fun with her friends, but if u know that on my trip there wasting time and plus food poisioning and almost ended up in hospital, ya i think u wun think i am selfish ba?

In my mind when calling her, was hoping to buy wine at the custom for her that she likes. After asking and asking, finally came to an answer of "no"... sigh~ so i went to ask the lady at the counter if i can buy for one night staying at batam. Zzzz... She told me only 2 days night staying than can allow you to buy. I was like... Haix, just hoping that tonight i can be happy with my gf accompanying me...

Life in batam:

Haha, you never know all kind of funny things i heard over there. 1st, i was with this company named LGB. There he was explaining what that name was without meaning. Simply to say LGB = life is good in batam. After these two days of staying there, i than understand why he said that. Over there, it seems like girls to them there are puppy love. Can you believe that he can just pet and touch girls that they want and will to pay them monthly just for sleeping with them? To me, no i cannot. I take relationship seriously. But from the girls there, it just made them 不自爱. The girl that i saw, well quite pretty and age 20, was mother of one child and divorced. Than more stories heard from them of other places made me see the world more bigger but uglier.

Stomach calls, looks like i wun be happy with my stomach today le... Dear, if i give u moody, hope you understand and sorry for not telling u for food poisoning. I dun wan to worry you.

Day after day, hour after hour, time ticking pass.. Guess what? My heart is really really broken. I am sad. Hell right, my heart is breaking... Why, can you tell me why am my heart broken into so million pieces? Your words hurt me, your attitude hurts me, so so so many things and times you had hurt me.. Why did i still come back to you? Have you ever try to understand just a single bit? The fact is i had love deeply down in me but did you? Care and concern is part of love, but is it really love? True that alot of things i did made you unhappy and even angry. Did you told me the exact thing? The minute my guess is wrong, there, i simply lost it.

Avoiding isn't the best cure, when u want to heal it, you have to go for treatment. For now, what is the treatment for me, my poor little hurting heart. I really do not hope i have to die to cure it. If it's so, i will go...

Been a long long time after i come back here to see this address... Nothing really changed, no comments, no chat... Guess what, sometime do changed. A new post in year 2010. Wat so special you might be guessing, let me tell u why. First of all, today i went to my colleague wedding. It was kind of happy not only because it is a wedding, it all because i had a very very good time with my beloved sweetheart.

We had been together for 5months plus, for some special reason, i can felt that i had really won her heart and believed that she is mine for sure. Despite knowing that regiving her the link and after she finishes reading the previous blog will make her (sad, angry, emo) but than i still choose to give her. Nothing for me to hide cause it had been a past. What past had pass, no point of being disturb over it.

And is because of this, i can even tells that she cares not surface but deep down in her heart for me. Dear, i wanna say this to you:" I love you". These are the words that is being said not for fun but for the fact that i really do. During the wedding dinner, looking at their video, how i hope that was you with me.

Guess what, tml i will be meeting a person which might be introducing MLM to me. Hmm, hopefully by than when i finish, i can reach my sweetheart place before she woke up. Haha... Than will follow up by finding my insurance forms that i promise my agent to give him... Spring cleaning for me i guess.

No more Mr oldman le, i wanna be back myself from today onwards. I am who i am, Mr Billy you can call me. A person who dream of getting married with his current sweetheart when the time is right. May this blog really touch your heart... :)

Who am i? What am i? Why am i? When am i? How am i?
Who am i to you? Your cousin? Your love? Nothing to you?
What am i been doing?
Why am i feeling so sad and hurt?
When am i going to stop being this way?
How am i going to stop thinking and be happy?

Everything i write here, will there be anyone reading? Will there be anyone caring to give any comment? Will there be anyone notice what i trying to say? What's the point of even writing here?

You said your mind wasn't even off Singapore when you go Genting with me? What were you thinking? Why didn't you told me anything at all? You said that you are sad, why didn't tell me about it?

Am i really there visible in front of you? What can i do to make you happier? Am i hurting you or giving you happiness? I now really dun know. I'm sad. I'm Emo.

The old man says:"Learn the 4 wifes and 1 husband!"

I'm back online... Hippie... Down with two old spoilt computer, finally here, my new precious labtop i brought from IT fair.. Hmm, seriously i hate window vista.. So not used to it but than all labtop are window vista from there. Oh well, it's time to change. Talking about changing, my work are also changing. Wondering should i take up the post of the AE or still carrying on with my PD. Sigh headach problem again. Oh well, i am sick that why u can see me posting. I am so busy with work till... Oh well, should have more rest since i sick old man...

The Old man says:"The older u gets, the more illness u gets!"

OMG OMG OMG... MY DAYS SUCKS.. stupid stupid stupid... can u image what happen ma? bet u never even ever think about it. I went driving that day, wtf, my car crash into other car.. kaoz... I paid so much money so the person wun report this accident. Than next, my bicycle got stolen for the 5th time. WTF LA... sigh! lose every thing liao. sigh! At least i got confirm in my job. Aww, dun really like it also. Haha! sigh! back to maple liao.. Chief bandit here i come. Whahah!

The old man says:"when you are down, you are down!"